I know I haven't been around much lately....

But I have a really good reason for it. My husband was riding his motorcycle home from work when a driver ran a red light and broadsided him, sending him 30 feet through the air where he landed on his back. His left foot was crushed between his motorcycle and the car's bumper and when he landed on his back his T12 vertebrae suffered a serious fracture. He's home now but he's pretty banged up and has a number of surgeries ahead of him in the near future. It's been an exhausting few days for all of us here. For my readers who are inclinded to pray, please do, and I thank you so much for it :)

We'll be okay, we always bounce back thanks to God, but it's going to be a trial. It's going to be rough not having any real income for the next 6-12 months. I'd get a job but he needs so much care right now that I really can't. I know eventually that we'll get some sort of financial settlement from all of this to help pay all these medical bills but for now, it's going to be really difficult.

The hardest part for me, I think, has been the loss of my strongest support system at a time when I really need it. My husband is everything to me and at the end of a long day, his big bear hugs keep me going. Now that he's flat on his back all the time, his hugs are no longer possible. We take a shower together every single night and that simple action is something I look forward to all day, it's not sexual at all, just a few minutes for us to connect and be alone, to shut the world out and let us reconnect...and now that's gone. I feel kind of alone even surrounded by so many people who love and care for us because the one person I draw so much strength from is hurt and I can't do anything to make it better. It breaks my heart when I have to kiss him goodnight in the hospital bed we have set up at home and go to bed myself in our big bed. I cry every night because it's just not right. My heart tells me that something is so very wrong with that and I hate that it has to be that way. I hate not being able to reach over and touch him if I wake up in the night, I hate that I can't snuggle up beside him and feel his arms around me. This is the saddest I've been in so very long and my heart just hurts so bad.

Needless to say, my writing has come to a screeching halt. My brain is so tired from all the stress of the last few days that I couldn't conjure up a creative thought if someone handed me one. That said, I'm going to publish this post and go to bed because three hours from now comes very quickly :)